Thursday, October 16, 2008

Update From the Wolf Den

It's a Conspiracy.

After a very enlightening conversation with the director of the Program at CHYC, getting to know the "rest of the story" to Wolf's antics lately, she and I agreed on the Conspiracy.

It has been easy for staff to allow Wolf some slack with regard to his behavior these last few months; after all, he can be quite charming and agreeable when things are to his liking. But as Wolf's residence stretches into the six-month mark and little progress up the ladder of Levels is accomplished, it was time for Plan B.

The Conspiracy to Help Wolf consists of little wiggle room for behavior that does not accept personal responsibility, the greatest of his challenges. Freely admitting to us last week that he "likes things my way", Wolf's success lies in his desire to accept and act upon the fact that society doesn't exactly see it that way. So far, there has not been much progress in that respect, but Director B sees potential. As she told me over the phone, "I can see his wheels turning".

Director B.'s special project is to guide and nurture through firm, consistent boundaries means Wolf will be mad much of the time, for quite some time as he struggles through the dark side (that will make him happy to have me use Star Wars analogies) and hopefully ends up at the "good".

Again, Yukon and I are bound by our sense of utter trust in these staff who obviously care deeply for our son and are also affected by behaviors they know he can overcome. Director B.'s Conspiracy could be the best thing to occur in his tumultous young life. But like many tough experiences, he just doesn't know it yet.

1 comment:

dorothy said...

Keep up the conspiracy! R is having to go all the way into firing a woman who has been allowed to 'have her own way' for too many years and there is not even a window to talk about her classic AS type behaviors. He hates this PC world and has done everything possible to help her shift her thinking into more normal lines. As you know, there is no easy or simple way to shift 40 year old habits for someone with AS especially one with no openness to the idea that there is even a problem.

So keep up the fight! Don't let him win, because it really would be a huge loss in the long run wouldn't it?

Hugs - great post