For those who know me well, it will come as no surprise when I say the biggest irritating factor of Wolf's time at CHYC is the ambiguity of it all.
When will he come home? Will he come home? In what shape? What about our shape?
We've started filling out paperwork for placement at a group home back in Alaska, but that, too is full of uncertain questions and factors that are both internal and external to Wolf right now. One has to do with the mere physical presence of other boys at the home, and when a bed will become available. Although the director has told Yukon and I they like to follow the school calendar as closely as possible to maintain a sense of "summer vacation" and "graduation", sometimes that is a little more difficult. The term "Wait List" takes on a whole new meaning, doesn't it, when we are truly "waiting"? I'm such a good waiter by now I ought to own my own place. Ha.
The second gray area, which seems to be grayer than usual, today, deals with the ongoing medication dance and subsequent behavior of said young man. Is he up, or down? Is down better than up? What about in-between? How the heck can I, and everybody else, be sure this is working? And how, pray tell, can I trust, Mr. Doctor-Man, that you know what you are doing?
I am due to visit Wolf in a few weeks. I need to lay my eyes on him, really see what he looks like, acts like, and how he behaves. Currently he is back on Refocus status, so our off-campus wishes, it appears, is squashed.
This will be a turning point, this trip, the beginning a whole new journey towards what is going to be our newest form of "Normal".