From the Wolf Den: The Trouble With Meds

Meds; to use or not to use. When, how, and why; probably the most complex and controversial issue I have dealt with since Wolf began drug therapy in second grade.

The backstory? I tried it all; behavior modification, diet, family therapy, exercise. Yes, if it was available and affordable, Wolf and I embarked on its passage. Some things worked, for a while, then the same behaviors would return both of us to the exhausting pattern of parenting, and being parented in tandem with something so obviously wrong hanging over our heads.

When the pediatrician suggested medication, I was both grateful and guilty, but accepted its arrival as one step in a lifetime journey. We have continued in this mode ever since, despite frequent questions from well-meaning but often misinformed people.

These days, however, our medications pose a more serious series of inquiry, due to Wolf's needs and CHYC's efforts to stabilize his behavior in order to provide him the best possible outcome for discharge and re-entry into our world.

It's a quandary for us. So many medications to stabilize mood and behavior are also riddled with side effects that mimic other behaviors not unlike Wolf, necessitating some serious attention to which is which.

Staff do a good job, and when I raised a red flag the other night, they were quick to respond. See, it's tough when I only have a voice to hear. I can't see Wolf's face, his posture, or look into his eyes. It is maddening as a mother.

Therapist B, the nurses, and I agreed, after much back-and-forth, to wait this current med cycle out, to see if things level off and the post-holiday blues fade from view. Wolf is willing to try, but it's difficult to know my son is suffering, even for a day, thus the paradox of medication "management".

Wolf turns 17 tomorrow. We all should be crossing appendages for a peaceful day.