Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Update From the Wolf Den

I think the most accurate word to describe Wolf's progress is "squeezed".

The last few weeks have been full of realizations, opportunities, and realities for our son. For all of us, actually. Wolf is discovering that some behaviors that he employs as a defensive tactic are not as effective at CHYC. Why? For one, the staff are specially trained in managing difficult behaviors, even the manipulative ones. Second, the staff are not emotionally engaged in Wolf's life (not as a parent would), and can detach the child from the event easier than mom or dad can.

Last week's session was particularly trying for everyone. Wolf most of all. It became clear after multiple attempts to not be a part of our telephone meeting that the "squeeze" was on. A difficult time at school, with his peers, and some staff had him on edge, and he shut down.

Wolf's therapist, a man who for us represents the shining example of what all therapists should be like, doesn't let him get away with any manipulating, avoiding, or blustering, however. A simple statement, made with the calmest of voices brought him back to the moment and the goal. The quote the 1940's, "the jig is up."

The "best offense is a good defense" tactic used by Wolf for so many years is being refused, and Wolf is at a crossroads. Like an addict faced with rock bottom, Wolf is at a place where he will either work like hell to stop the behaviors, and thus begin learning skills necessary for his independence, or he won't. It is all up to him.

We are anxiously awaiting his decision. Knowing how this kid operates, I think I know what that will be. It is just a question of when.

1 comment:

dorothy said...

Praying over him (and his mommy!) I'm sitting here learning for my own AS sweetie and the future we face. hugs - d