Friday, March 27, 2009
Update From the Wolf Den: Serving My Sons
As we step gingerly through the pathways of Wolf's past and present, Yukon and I are becoming increasingly aware of the future.
As my friend Dorothy is finding out, when children with Asperger Syndrome become older, things that used to be considered part of the "nuisance" category reach the status of "safety and health". Behaviors that were disruptive in elementary school become more pronounced, more difficult to predict, and end up causing the utmost in stress for families, teachers, and friends.
We are grappling with a number of issues, all of them related to Wolf, his diagnoses and their relation to his progress nearly one year into treatment. What is a realistic expectation for discharge? What supports will be necessary, now, then, and forever?
Perhaps the most agonizing question is one that has been pushed up and back in my mind so often it could be its own road: Should we? Can we?
There is another child to consider, one who since his brother's absence has blossomed into his own person, missing Wolf to be sure, but also devoid of the conflict that tore at his parents' hearts. Yukon and I are realistic enough to know that just because a child is discharged from treatment, no "magic" cure for the inherent disability will suddenly impart itself upon a family. Our family, two boys and two parents who somehow must find yet another "new normal" during a time that feels anything but. Even this far out.