Usually by this point I am nervous. Tonight I am relatively tranquil. Usually by this point I have begun making piles in my office consisting of my stuff, Wolf's stuff, letters, drawings, books, etc. There is only a small pile of Bear's stuff tonight, mostly because I did his laundry and didn't want to put it away.
For such a potentially stressful trip, I am markedly unstressed. Huh.
I know that part of it stems from our ultimate desire to at least project an aura of calm to the boys in the hopes that, like dogs, they will sense this and remain calm themselves. We can hope, yes? Might as well begin now.
But this is also an opportunity to show our children the raw, unveiled parent-passion that comes from mothers and fathers having their offspring in one place at one time. We may not always say or do the right things when it comes to child-raising, but at least when everybody is together we can throw our arms around one another and for a little while know that everything is all right. Everything. Forget the therapy sessions, closet-cleanings, and meetings about the future, I'm like a mother bear sending her cubs up a tree while I sit beneath it breathing a sigh of relief that for another day, everybody is exactly where they need to be.
Perhaps the first moment of togetherness has not hit me yet, maybe I'm not ready to go there. But it does not feel wrong. On the contrary, it feels very, very right.