"Every boy should have two things: A dog, and a mother willing to let him have one." - Robert Benchley
I have mentioned before the correlation between raising a preschool child and a preschool dog. This statement has been proven over and over, especially now that there are just the two of them representing the under-14 age set.
The human child is in a very special phase of life-lessons these days, resisting any interference with sleep, food, recreation and even bodily functions. So he has been without underwear, naps, and nutrition for at least a week now. Fortunately he doesn't seem to mind because the dog is right behind him, reinforcing every "No".
The other day I was down here in the office working on a few things and folding laundry. Yes, I have learned how to type with one hand and fold shirts with the other; see how multi-talented I have become since obtaining SAH status? Anyhow, I kept hearing suspicious "thumps" coming from the upstairs areas. And laughing, which meant that the combination of sounds was leading to no good.
I hollered "What's going on up there?!" To which Bear responded "We are not doing any-ting!" Duh, why do I even bother asking? I leaped up the stairs two at a time to find the miscreants taking the wood stove kindling out of its basket and tossing it about the room. Canine child would seize a piece in his gnarly teeth and begin gnawing and knoshing and leaving toothpick-sized pieces in the carpet, and human child was building what he termed a "castle" on top of the coffee table which he had dragged across the floor to the sofa. Mind you, I had just finished moving furniture around to vacuum, something that only occurs on a full moon. Or a holiday.
Neither even looked up when I appeared, but kept on knoshing and dragging, until I grabbed both. Four eyes looked up with a "whaaaaaatttt?!" And what did the speaking member of the family say?
"Jasper did it."
Poor dog, he better learn to talk soon or he's in real trouble!