Monday, August 18, 2008

In Wolf's Den: Reflections

Today's visit was shortened to allow Wolf the necessary time to digest yesterday's actions and their consequences as they relate to my visit. I had a little time to check in with other staff and be validated, an important thing for any parent, even more so for those of us living with and raising up children with AS.

One of our projects this morning was learning the process of problem-solving. I will list the six steps as I found myself thinking it might just be helpful for grownups as well. After all, how many times a day do we find ourselves in situations that need careful problem-solving? Personally, many for me.

1. Stop and Think. How do I feel? (like strangling the kid who just flushed a whole roll of toilet paper down the already slow toilet)

2. What's the problem? (Hmm, water dripping down the basement light fixtures in a beautiful cascade; errant child hiding under the bed)

3. What can I do? (We list 3 choices here, some positive and some negative. Me, I can spank the child, I can put child in timeout, I can make child help clean up mess and follow the plumber around)

4. What will happen if I do each of those things? (Important here; stating clearly the consequences of each action helps us see exactly what could happen).

5. What is the best thing to do? (This sometimes can be tough; we all would like to give in to our impulses regarding the wrongdoer, sometimes going back to consequences is valuable here). I think that making the wee child follow the plumber around and learning how to operate the washer and dryer is valuable.

6. Be happy with my decision becaue I stopped to think and solved my problem! (Yippee! See how well this can work for a mommy?)

I had a nice day exploring the City. Very hot weather made it even better. Took myself out to lunch, even, and read the whole paper.

Both Wolf and I benefited, hopefully, from a day of reflection.

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